As this subject keeps coming up in letters I have received lately, I thought I would post this lesson here for anyone seeking a List Of Healthy Corrections that do NOT involve Corporal Punishment (aka CP). At The Crow Academy we do not use Corporal Punishment at all, instead saving the BDSM toys strictly for great BDSM scenes. It seems many newcomers to BDSM also want to avoid using BDSM Toys in this regard. For this purpose, I assembled this list of “Healthy Corrections” all of which are non-sexual, non-bdsm (non-CP), and genuinely aimed at positive change.
Enjoy.
For those who do not know, “Corporal Punishment” means using a BDSM Toy – a cane, crop or paddle for example – to apply a series of intense applications on the Submissive as a response to a real or play transgression. The classic “10 Swats” with a wooden paddle as punishment in grade school in the principal’s office of a century ago is a classic example of actual, real world CP (now thankfully banned in most schools).
Let me start by saying that I am not against Styles of D/s where CP is a mutually-appreciated and negotiated element between consenting adults, for example in a more strict “Military-Style” of D/s where the Bottom is both extremely masochistic AND expressly knows they respond well to that level of intensity. As The Crow Academy Style, while highly disciplined, is not a “military-style” and instead is based in Romance, we seek Corrections that are more relevant – and poignant – to the daily life of a Loving Dominant & their Submissive. Our goal is to use everyday reality as a means to teach better behavior if the need for a Correction arises.
Personally – and in general – I also avoid CP because I want my Sub / Bottom to see every single BDSM Toy & Tool as something that EXCITES them, something that they CRAVE… not something that gives them apprehension. Thus I save the BDSM Toys for Pleasure & Excitement. BDSM scenes and games in general are a Reward For Good Behavior, in addition to being a great and positive, shared experience for both the Dominant and the Submissive. In my personal dynamic ALL BDSM scenes are mutually beautiful moments I share with my slave.
FUNishment
When a Submissive / Bottom is fake-punished in a fun game or fun BDSM scene, the term is “Funishment,” which is A-OK and a perfectly acceptable activity. For those new to the word “Funishment” it implies a pseudo-punishment that is – in fact – perfectly enjoyable to the Bottom or Submissive. Many BDSM and D/s scenes and games involve CP in a classic Funishment game of “Thank you Sir / Ma’am….May I Please Have Another!”
Funishment can be as intense as the two care to go, but the end result is never any sort of actual, genuine Correction. Many forms of Resistance Play and Brat Play can include Funishment as part of a more intense response to the pseudo-aggression of that Style of Play. The key point is that Funishment is NOT actual punishment, NOT an actual Correction, but instead all a part of the scene or game. The Bottom in these cases legitimately sees the Funishment as something to seek and attain as part of their own thrill and / or masochism.
Rewarding Bad Behavior – The Big Mistake
The main reasons I do not use CP as any sort of Actual Correction is that too often it can get confusing for the Submissive from what I have seen. If the Submissive is a masochist then CP which uses the BDSM Toys (e.g. a crop, paddle or cane) can end up being what is called “A Reward For Bad Behavior.” This is something a Dominant absolutely wants to avoid!
Case in Point: In the course of genuine D/s and Training a Submissive, a Dominant NEVER, EVER wants to respond to an actual Transgression with any sort of Reward. Doing so only reinforces a very problematic perception in the Submissive that their Transgression has become “sanctified.” Simultaneously, “rewarding the bad behavior” also sends the message to the Submissive that they should commit the Transgression AGAIN to receive more rewards! You do NOT want that pattern in your D/s, so never, ever reward bad behavior.
If you – the Dominant – make a mistake and you realize that you accidentally rewarded bad behavior then just make a mental note to yourself and try to not repeat that mistake. Take the time to make additional effort to communicate to your Submissive about what they did wrong, and take extra time to teach them how you want things done correctly in the future.
Healthy Corrections
Sometimes it can be hard to discern in the moment a Healthy Correction because the Dominant might be thinking merely in terms of a “Response / Reaction” – more or less the “tit-for-tat” philosophy – and not really considering how they (The Dominant) can extend beyond a mere response into a Learning Opportunity for the Submissive. Creating that Learning Opportunity in a Down-To-Earth, reality-based manner is the essence of Healthy Corrections.
At The Crow Academy we make sure to include showing / telling the submissive how to do the act that was transgressed in a manner that is Correct, the very reason why we use the term Correction.
For a Correction to be effective, it must fit a few criteria:
- It must “fit” the transgression – not too much, and not too little.
- It should be simple and effective.
- It should be appropriate and hinge upon on what the Submissive normally enjoys; If the Submissive does not care about the Correction because it is insignificant to them, then it is not going to be an effective Correction.
All of the Healthy Corrections below are non-CP. Nonetheless, these Corrections absolutely get the message across that a transgression has been committed by the Submissive, and that there is a consequence for that transgression.
A Correction should be something that the Submissive can complete effectively, and thus succeed at returning to the Dominant’s “Good Graces.” You do not want to give a correction wherein the Submissive is likely to mess up the procedure and get into worse trouble. This does not mean you have to make it overly easy, but rather that any Correction should remain realistic.
Example 1: You can have a Submissive sit in a corner for an hour. Anyone can do that and of course it’s very boring. The lesson is 99% likely to be learned. However if the Dominant says, “you will sit in that corner for 6 hours” then the Dom is practically asking for the Submissive to act out, stay grumpy, get achy, and in general seek to maneuver their way out of the Correction rather than follow through.
Do not create Corrections that are likely to fail or cause additional complications.
Example 2: The Dominant can take away all sweets from the diet of the Submissive. Now since this is a super healthy thing to do anyway, you really CAN prolong this one. But how long is a good amount? Do you allow them ONE sweet per week? No sweets at all? Do you say no sweets for 24 hours? For Two Weeks? Longer??? Herein we see the principle of matching the Correction to the Transgression. A genuinely horrific transgression is not going to be solved by taking away sweets, so this “No-Sweets” Correction would only work for a light-to-medium transgression.
Was the Submissive rude to the Dominant in a single instance? “No sweets for 2 Days” seems fair, manageable, and again is actually a Healthy thing to do.
Did the Submissive repeatedly fail to complete a simple chore that was requested by the Dominant several times in the same week with the repeated excuse, “Oh I forgot”…? Take away sweets for a whole week then. These are examples of how the Correction can and must be balanced against the transgression.
A Brief List of Healthy Corrections
Try any of these, and of course hopefully this will give you ideas to come up with your own. Again, it all depends on what the Submissive normally enjoys. If the Submissive does not care about the correction because it is insignificant to them, then it is not going to be an effective Correction. Note that some of these require the ability for the Dominant to supervise, while others might depend on the Submissive acting honorably and obeying the Correction circumstances.
1. No TV – literally take away Television Permissions.
Perhaps make them read a book. This can extend to all non-essential electric devices, e.g. tablets, phones, etc.
Note: Only applies to entertainment, and does not include using the device for a legitimate purposes like their career or GPS navigation.
2. No Videogames – if your Submissive likes these.
This includes phone games too,
3. No Internet For Fun – for example, no facebooking for a day or more.
This includes no “fun” internet by phone as well.
Note: Does not include using the internet for legitimate purposes like their career or GPS navigation.
4. Cannot have their favorite food or snack for the day…. or longer.
5. Their only allowed drink for the day is Water – certainly a correction that is physically healthy!
Note: If your Submissive needs their morning coffee to be effective at their job, you might still allow that.
6. Extra Chores – for example a much more thorough cleaning of the bathroom than usual, or having them rake every single leaf in the garden, or washing the Dominant’s car by hand inside and out. Must be something above and beyond what the Submissive normally attends to doing.
7. Early Bedtime – only works if they are a night owl / stay up late, and they are not allowed to use electronics nor read a book. This is a “lights out” situation, not an invitation to relax in bed.
8. The classic “Timeout” – you make them sit or stand in a corner or some other boring location with no resources for fun, and think about what they did wrong.
9. Have the Submissive Write an Essay regarding their transgression – a real essay, minimum three paragraphs of three well-formed sentences per paragraph. You can make them re-write it if they did not do a very good job. (*This is one of my personal favorites because it reminds people of writing boring essays in high school… AND it gets them to really think about what they did wrong.*)
10. No Dessert – speaks for itself, and can be expanded to no sweets at all during the period of correction – healthy too because you are taking away sugar.
We hope this gives you a solid idea of how to frame and create Corrections that are useful and meaningful without resorting to CP if that is not your Style. Personally I feel that since these kinds of Healthy Corrections do not involve any BDSM Toys these also make the fact that a Correction is occurring much more salient to the Submissive.
On a final note, we think it’s also a good idea for any Dominant to understand the process of Training a Submissive as a series of Rewards & Positive Affirmations, and Corrections if necessary. To this end we created a short video on our YouTube channel that goes into this idea in greater detail:
Very intrigued indeed by the idea of corrections as opposed to funishments – as a newer Dom, a new idea to me, but one that makes a lot of sense and that I’m keen to try out. Many thanks for the inspiration!