Strong Woman, Strong Slave (written by slave Daphne)

An excited new submissive wrote to me after watching my YouTube videos (YouTube search terms “Master Arcane Crow”) with her Dom. She was very happy to find out that there were so many others out there who felt the same as she did, but wanted to know if my slave, Daphne, ever had trouble balancing her strongly independent, sometimes tom-boyish nature with her own passionate experience of submission to me. More than anything else, this new submissive wanted to know if it was possible to be both strong as a person and strong as a woman while also being strong as a slave. I was more than happy to tell her the answer was a resounding Yes. To even further make the point I elected to have slave Daphne herself write back to the new submissive explaining exactly how Daphne creates a wonderful balance in her own life, mixing personal-best as my slave alongside personal strength in her own womanhood. I hope you enjoy this special edition of Arcane Advice.

And now I hand the mic over to slave Daphne….

Enjoy.

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Hello there. Master Arcane’s slave Daphne here, hope you don’t mind if I take over and tell you my experience.

To be honest, I often have many of the same issues even after two years of being Master Arcane’s devoted slave. While I am happily submissive by nature, a natural follower I like to say, I grew up in a family where I was surrounded by strong, independent women. One could even say my household was matriarchal. So in my relationship I oftentimes find myself at odds with my very real need to be submissive for my Master versus the learned behaviors I picked up from my mother, older sister and cousins. Most of the time, it’s a good mix, but when it comes to relinquishing full control to my Master without question, I must admit I have encountered a few hiccups.

The good news is that there is absolutely a way to be both a deeply devoted submissive to your Master while at the same time still being a strong woman. The trick is just knowing when certain behaviors are appropriate. Here’s an example: In the workplace, a fellow employee of equal standing tries to callously pawn off their duties onto you because they feel they can take advantage of you. As a strong woman, you might tell them that you aren’t going to do their duties because you have your own workload and if they want help, to ask you politely. This is called standing up for yourself, and my Master always supports when I do this because it also means I am standing up for and taking care of His property, namely me. By being a strong woman when out and about in the world I am actually still fulfilling my responsibilities to my Master.

Now lets look at a similar circumstance in a D/s context. Your Master gives you an order to take care of a task that He needs done even though you might be in the middle of something. It would be seen as highly disrespectful and completely inappropriate to tell your Master “I’m doing something else right now” or “Ask me nicer and I will,” etc.  You have to remember that your Master is there to love and guide you, not take advantage of your submission. There is an astronomical difference between the callous co-worker and your beloved Master, and you need to keep in mind that being with your Master is your safe place where you can let your guard down.

So, the best way to respond to that situation would be to immediately acknowledge your Master and put His given task at the top of your priority list. Or, if what you are working on needs immediate attention, ask politely, “Master, I am currently working on something important, may I do that task after I’m done?” This is called the “Rule of One Petition” in Master Arcane’s (The Crow Academy) style and it dictates that even though you made your request, your Master does not have to agree with you. If your Master were to respond with a “No, please do it now,” then without giving any argument or attitude, you drop what you are doing to do the task assigned by your Master.

As you can see, to follow your Master without question requires a great deal of trust.  Trust is something that grows over time, starting with a bit of trust in the beginning, and if you both behave honorably then it can grow into something all-encompassing and truly incredible.  Each time your Master requires your trust in a command He gives you and it turns out that His command made sense and was clearly the correct choice (even if you could not see it in the moment He made the request), the resulting clarity will help build your trust together more and more.

If, on the other hand, you have any doubt in His ability to lead you then it could be very problematic. That of course is not the only reason why it might be difficult to give in completely. I myself struggle with selfishness and there are times where I don’t want to do what Master asks because I don’t want to stop whatever I am doing.  I have found that the best thing to do is to keep in mind why you chose to be in a D/s Relationship. Does serving your Master, making Him proud, and seeing Him happy give you fulfillment? I imagine the answer is “YES!” If this is true, then realize that following your Master’s orders and giving Him complete control (with all that beautiful trust you have created together) will make the both of you happy and help nurture the D/s Relationship.  Note that when I say complete control it comes down to what amount of control you both negotiated when you started, and as you go along.  For myself, I am most fulfilled by always allowing my Master to have the final decision, because I trust His leadership implicitly.

Never underestimate the power of politeness and humility.  As fellow submissives (you and I), learning to embrace these qualities are some of our most powerful tools. Just because you are an independent woman does not mean that you have to be rude or egotistical to prove it.  Just remember that relinquishing power to the ONE man that YOU chose, does not in any way take away from your strength as a woman overall.  Master Arcane teaches that the beauty of submission is when the submissive, no matter how strong or powerful or beautiful she is in her daily life, chooses ONE man, her Master, to whom she can give her complete obedience based on trust, and that is when both of you will share an amazing experience together.

Hope this helps.
Daphne