This system was taught to me many moons ago. It was far simpler back then, and so I greatly modified it (with permission) as part of The Crow Academy curriculum. It is only meant to be a set of “Guidelines,” and these are NOT hard and fast rules. Nonetheless, it can certainly be helpful to understand the differences in how a Submissive might classify themselves for their own self-perspective, and / or for the edification of any Dominant with whom they intend to interact.
In the latter case, it can help the Dominant rapidly get a sense of what the possibilities will be like with that Submissive. Of course anyone who chooses to define themselves using this system can at any time make a new assessment. The goal is to figure out one’s “starting point,” and NOT to judge that starting position as better or worse than any other starting position. These guidelines also serve to help both the Dominant and Submissive discern elements they might need to be happy.
Over the decades, I have found this useful for both Doms and Subs to get started with a better understanding of the varieties of Submission available. Every few years I see a need to reintroduce this “philosophical” approach to defining Submission, appreciating that this is still perhaps the best examination of the idea of Different Kinds of Submission that I have come across. As such I thought it a good time to post this permanently here on Arcane Advice. 🙂
Enjoy.
1. THE OUTRIGHT NON-SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST or
KINKY SENSUALIST
Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up control; Simply enjoys pain and / or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist’s own terms and for the masochist’s own direct pleasure (i.e. turned on solely / mainly by her own bodily sensations rather than any shared D/s experience of being “used” to gratify the partner’s Dominance). Technically called a “Bottom,” i.e. purely physical while devoid of the psychological D/s elements. You may find this kind frequenting fetish / BDSM clubs to get their masochistic “fix” without owing fealty to any particular Dominant or Top.
2. THE PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE
Not into actually exploring being a genuine “slave” or submissive, but into other “submissive” Role-Playing, e.g. school-teacher scenes, interrogation scenes, “forced” into slavery as the kidnapped princess, etc. Often into bondage, masochistic to varying degrees, sometimes into humiliation, but NOT into servitude nor service, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree. More of a Bottom than a submissive, as her main goal is to play, to “scene,” and not really to give up control. Think of the kinky partner who enjoys various kinds of play – and play alone – but not actual submission.
3. THE PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE
Likes to play at being a slave; Likes to feel subservient now and then, and may in some cases enjoy feeling that she is being “used” to gratify her partner’s Dominance. Might even genuinely serve the Dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave’s” own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree. Often fetishistic (e.g. boot / leather worshippers), often masochistic. Often enjoys aspects of submission but not actually ready or willing to release into full submission as she retains a near constant need for control in her life in general.
4. THE SINCERE SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE
Genuinely gives up control, but only temporarily and within agreed upon limits. Gets her main satisfaction from her own internal experience of submission, and not as much from serving or being consensually used by the Dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, giving up control, and/or giving up responsibility. Doesn’t dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her own direct pleasure (as opposed to feeling fulfilled / getting pleasure from pleasing the Dominant). Often masochistic but not always, as this kind may take their pleasure 100% from the psychological aspects of submission.
5. THE SINCERE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE
Genuinely gives up control (though only temporarily, and only during brief “scenes” and within limits) and gets her main satisfaction from serving / being used by the Dominant…. but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May or may not be masochistic. If so, her pleasure may vary from genuine enjoyment (masochistically wired) to a more indirect masochism where she is turned on by being the object of her partner’s sadism. Due to the emphasis strongly being on Play, this submissive may place very few requirements or restrictions on play, given the establishing of Trust and the respect of stated Limits. The temporary nature of this kind of submissive lends to the term “Collar-On Submissive,” meaning metaphorically that she is only submissive when she is “wearing the collar” (a real collar or a metaphorical collar).
6. UNCOMMITTED SHORT TERM BUT MORE THAN
PLAY SEMI-SLAVE
Genuinely gives up control (within stated Limits). Wants to serve and be used by the Dominant, and wants to provide practical / non-erotic (e.g. Chores) as well as fun / erotic (e.g. Sexual) services. However this is only when the “slave” is in the mood. For example, she may act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time but she is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with her Dominant, but either way the “slave” has the final say over the time period during which she will serve. The Classic “Collar-On Slave.”
7. PART-TIME CONSENSUAL BUT SINCERE SLAVE
Has an ongoing commitment to a D/s (Owner/slave, M/s) Relationship, and regards herself as the Dominant’s property at all times. Wants to obey and please her Dominant in all aspects of life including practical / non-erotic areas, as well as fun / erotic areas. Devotes a great deal of her time to other commitments (e.g. job) but the Dominant has first pick of the slave’s free time. The “Real” aspect often includes a Slave Collar formally given and / or a Slave Contract that makes room for the part-time element. Similar to the situation of the traditional “1950’s Style Housewife,” with the overt position of the slave being fully consensual and fully enjoyed.
8. FULL-TIME LIVE-IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE
With no more than a few broad limits / requirements, this slave regards herself as existing solely for the D/s Relationship and pleasure and well-being of the shared D/s Garden. She places extreme value on keeping her Dominant happy, and understands that her own personal health and well-being extends into that commitment. She views herself as the Dominant’s property, and in turn she can appreciate being regarded as a “prized possession” and cherished companion. This full time “slave” arrangement is entered into much more carefully, with highly detailed negotiation, an explicit awareness of the magnitude of the expectations, and an equally explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up.
Signified extremely often with a formal Collaring Ceremony or the signing of a Slave Contract. Before the Dom bestows a formal Collar or Slave Contract, the long-term nature of this relationship insists on more awareness of the possible pitfalls, more profound preliminary negotiation, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than those that even precede the traditional vanilla marriage. This level of D/s describes the Classic 24/7 Master-slave Relationship. Both parties must be “wired” for this level of depth, and it must be mutually fulfilling and passionately desired by both parties equally to succeed.
9. CONSENSUAL “TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS” (Probably not though….)
A common Fantasy ideal often presented in Fiction which rarely exist in real life, though there are exceptions. The complication comes in the form of the slave’s declaration of “no limits” which almost always proves to be a false claim, and eventually at least some limits will arise, say the most basic and utterly reasonable desires for ongoing health and well-being. Given that such an exceedingly rare relationship as this actually blossoms and progresses forward on a truly healthy path, the statement of “no limits” steps aside for the couple’s mutual adherence to rules and limits that ensure the general well-being of both people. Within the daily life all commands are obeyed by the slave and she seeks the deepest level of devotion to her Dominant / Owner, as well as the upward reaches of personal fulfillment in living as such. The concept of the “Kajira” from the Gor novels (science fiction) parallels this idea.
NOTE #1
I’ve met a few people who claimed to be “no-limit slaves,” but in all cases I have reason to believe that limits were there which were simply the same for both the Dominant and the Submissive. For example, when both clearly adhere to practices which reinforce an adherence to common decency, mutual health practices, and overall well-being. The problematic nature of this rare “no-limits” level exists mainly for a free-agent (unattached) Submissive proclaiming such, most often out of ignorance or inserting imaginary realities gleaned from too many fantasy novels. Upon the Submissive proclaiming she is a “no limits submissive / slave” she can easily end up exposing herself far too early to the random excesses of potentially unskilled or amateur Dominants who lack the sophistication and experience to do justice to such an open soul.
Better for such a Submissive to start slowly, and completely refrain from the “no limits” label. She should build trust with her Dominant, and then perhaps one day declare to her Dominant that she “wants no more limits” after many repeated experiences in which her trust in the Dominant has proven abundantly justified. Hence this level is potentially attainable given time within an ongoing, loving, mutually fulfilling Master-slave Relationship.
This parallels the concept of a slave eventually telling her Owner that she “no longer wishes to be allowed to use safewords,” as over time she has learned to feel such a complete and intense Trust for her Owner that she feels truly safe giving up all control. Nonetheless, it should be noted that at The Crow Academy we teach that Safewords Still Exist…even if “given up.” We maintain this rule because in the case of extreme need (e.g. a serious complication) known Safewords CAN still be accessed and still get respected, even if that likelihood is extremely rare due superior compatibility and elegant coordination between the Dominant and the Submissive.
CLICK HERE to read more about SAFEWORDS and why we think they are CRITICAL
NOTE #2
At The Crow Academy we do NOT believe that one kind of Submissive is better than another, as long as any of the D/s Relationships described here contain Trust, Mutual Respect, and a general adherence to Health & Well-Being. The most important thing to figure out is what works for YOU, and pursue that in a pure and honest manner with someone who can reciprocate from the opposite side of the D/s coin. At some point a submissive might wish or need for her Submission to deepen (or lighten), and in such a case become redefined as a different kind of submissive. This should occur organically and through experience.
There is also no implied “set of steps” one should take to achieve “the right level” of submission as per these Nine Kinds. You simply enter at the level that you feel is right for you (although at The Crow Academy we highly recommend beginners Start Slow and work your way into the level that genuinely suits you). If you want to start out extremely lightly then start lightly; If you want to start at an intermediate depth then find the right Dominant and try it. Always be sure to have a quality Initial Negotiation, and state every one of your concerns and known limits at that time, right at the start. If you feel Deep Submission is your path then it’s fine to start deeply, but again Go Slow and take your time to let that depth grow naturally with a Responsible Dominant who can truly share the joy of that depth with you in a healthy and loving D/s or M/s Relationship.
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