Sacred Masculine & Sacred Feminine –
Embracing Tantra in BDSM

When people generally think about Tantra, they envision a man and a woman intertwined in some mad erotic embrace like two sexualized serpents wrapped in a sailor’s knot, with a near-magical level of energy flowing between them. Rarely will they consider that Tantra in and of itself is not limited to merely a Vanilla embrace, and entertain the thought that Tantra is far more than a mere exploration of the pages of the Kama Sutra. Tantra, in fact, has a perfect place within the BDSM Universe.

(Please Note – As this could be considered an “Intermediate” lesson, I highly recommend you read the following two Arcane Advice lessons first before reading this one to help you understand a bit more about Tantra & Romance within BDSM, and why this is such an integral part of the The Crow Academy Style of Domination & Submission….)

Modern Tantra, while originating in the East several thousand years ago, really is detached from any particular religion. If you consider modern day Yoga classes as an example of something from the East that has gained universal popularity and has proven to be healthy for anyone, modern Tantra also fits under that description. What is important to remember – no matter what your background – is that Tantra aims to take all that celebrates Femininity and all that celebrates Masculinity, look at both qualities at their very best, and use these ideas to enhance the sensual and sexual embrace of two people up to an entirely new level of pleasure, passion, and connection. As you hopefully just read (or recall) from the previous Arcane Advice article The Tantric Advantage of BDSM, Tantra also just happens to be incredibly well suited to BDSM.

One of the core principles of Tantra is about “Embracing the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine”…. that is, focusing so intently on these qualities as to take them above and beyond how we normally perceive them in our daily lives. The word “Divine” here simply means “Exalted / Transcendent /Fulfilled” and is not beholden to any particular religion or belief system. It is important to understand – as you will learn in this lesson – that Tantra can also go beyond simply the heterosexual dichotomy, and just as easily embrace whatever gender preference you and your partner have, whether that is the Divine Feminine and the Divine Feminine, or the Divine Masculine and the Divine Masculine… in fact ANY gender combination.

The main point of this lesson is to teach you that Embracing the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine most certainly can flourish within BDSM, Domination and Submission. In fact, at The Crow Academy we have experienced for decades how Tantric skills add a distinctly beautiful, additional level of connection between the Dominant and the Submissive. As you probably understand by now, we are big fans of making your BDSM experiences as fantastic as possible for everyone involved, which is why we appreciate what Tantra has to offer.

Here in the world of BDSM we enjoy a vast repertoire of practices to enhance our sexual experiences, as well as push an intense vibrancy into our relationships. Often are the statements one could easily interpret as “transcendence attained” within any number of shared BDSM moments between the Top and the Bottom, or the Dominant and the Submissive. Therefore, given an open mind we are perfectly positioned to take our BDSM practices up to the next level, where everything that we enjoy opens lotus-like even further into a Tantric experience. Today’s lesson is about when two people manifest the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine into their BDSM and share these experiences together.

To be clear, the Divine Masculine / Divine Feminine can be thought of as the Collective Essence of ALL that contains a distinctly masculine or distinctly feminine quality, respectively. This can include things living, things imagined, animals, plants, people from fiction or history, and so much more. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Tantra, lets break it down into a two important Key Factors to consider….

1) Mutual Respect Is Essential

To begin to create the Tantric Balance of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine within BDSM (or to be honest any kind of relationship), both people involved – regardless of gender – need to sit upon a foundation of Mutual Respect for each other. The given roles of Dominant and Submissive (or Top and Bottom) can be as deep as the two care to explore, and principles like SSC / RACK or whichever chosen system of “caring for each other while having a great time” MUST be in place. This is because the very invocation of perceiving the Divine Masculine or the Divine Feminine in your partner requires an intense sense of Appreciation for your partner. This does not mean displacing the “glorious inequality” (Power Flow) between the Dom and Sub, but rather seeing your complement as someone who is wonderful for their own kinks and perfect in their chosen role, regardless of their experience level. What matters is their commitment to their role, and above all their sincerity in the same regard. The one perceiving acknowledges this sincerity in the other, and in return gives Respect for that commitment and sincerity. Add all manner of normal positive emotions – love, joy, connection, feeling great together, having a good time together – and you have the foundation of Mutual Respect.

2) Let Go Of Common Perceptions Of Identity

Another central element of getting into the Tantric headspace includes a welcoming attitude of ALL that is either Masculine or Feminine, depending on how you perceive your partner’s gender. To allow an understanding and perception of the Divine Masculine and / or the Divine Feminine, you have to open your mind to considering anything and everything in the whole world that speaks to you personally about transcendentally masculine or feminine qualities, as this will become the effective, wide-open “database” from which you will draw your perceptions within the Tantric experience. From this multitude of ideas, the Divine Masculine or the Divine Feminine will begin to sprout and coalesce in your mind, as you allow yourself to perceive and embrace these qualities and elements in your very own partner.

Note that this is an extreme abbreviation of these practices for the sake of this lesson, and I Highly Recommend reading several books on Tantra if you want to really soar with these ideas, such as the books I list in the previous lesson, The Tantric Advantage of BDSM. To be clear, The Divine Feminine / Masculine is more Verb than Noun; It is something that evolves and changes and grows moment-to-moment within the one perceiving. Think of it as a Song of Changing Notes (shifting and evolving perceptions of the Sacred Masculine or Sacred Feminine in your partner) inside your mind that plays out uniquely during each Tantric encounter.

Examples:

  • A male (Dom or Sub) thinks of a Rose as a feminine flower. He allows that image to enter his mind freely while looking at his female partner from a Tantric headspace. He allows this image to stay in his mind organically. Organically mean no pressure for the image to stay or go, but rather to let it be there in his mind as long as it stays, without judgement.
  • A female thinks of muscularity (e.g. developed muscles, but without a specific person in mind) as a masculine element. She allows that sense – perhaps not even an image at all OR an image of an overly muscular male in some artwork – to sit gently in her mind organically and imbue that “Sense” of masculinity into her perception of her male partner regardless of his actual physique.
  • A male allows an image of any sort of “goddess” to enter his mind. This can be fictitious or an actual person from pop-culture or from history… from Athena to Kali to Freya to Marylin Monroe to Joan of Arc…. etc etc etc. The essence of anything found to be hyper-feminine is allowed to add to the building perception by the male of his female partner, and again organically mix into the overall experience that he is with The Divine Feminine.
  • A female notices the deep musk scent of her man, and that in turn causes her imagination to think of all of a man’s musky scents that invigorate her and turn her on. This is a good example of how The Divine Masculine / Feminine does not have to be merely visual, and how all your senses can add to the images that flow through your imagination when in the Tantric headspace.
  • A Dominant female considers the essence of the soft skin of her Submissive female partner, and that visceral image in her mind – the softness, perhaps even the smell, that first instant of actual touch with this perception in mind – all combine to create a transcendent impression of divinely feminine skin, the sacredness of the female body, and the beauty of feminine essence….and she allows this to enter her mind and absorb her senses as she gaze upon and experiences the sensual curves of Tantric her partner.
  • A Submissive male allows the idea of an exalted cock, intensely and majestically erect, to fill his mind as he gazes upon his Dominant male partner, the image being less “real” and instead an utterly idealistic image – even a mythological cock like the phallus of Pan himself – to convey the wild rush of divinely masculine arousal with all the hormone-driven passion into his perception of an exalted “essence of rock-hard cock,” and he allows this perception to flow into his Tantric experience of his male partner.

What is important to consider is that almost ANYTHING having to do with your own personal definition of “What is Beautiful?” about Masculinity or Femininity can enter this evolving mix of the Divine Masculine or the Divine Feminine during ANY sexual activity be it BDSM, D/s, or otherwise. When two people simultaneously enter into a Tantric headspace they necessarily give permission in both directions to allow each other to enjoy and experience the evolving mix of the Divine Masculine or the Divine Feminine within each one’s perception of the other. BOTH people clearly remove ANY element of potential jealousy from the encounter, instead giving utter permission to the other to be A-OK with whatever images or impressions might come into the mind of the partner. Doing so specifically helps facilitate the growing perception of one’s partner as beyond-the-actual-person, becoming transcendent and more of an embodiment of that encounter’s unique definition of the Divine Masculine or the Divine Feminine.

The only thing you do NOT want to do is allow utterly unrelated images into the mix. The mind is a goofy thing, and out of the blue in the middle of a fantastic Tantric encounter one might suddenly find oneself thinking about their grocery list or a bag of chips. Silly and weird, but not uncommon at all. The solution is simple: Gently and easily push the unrelated material from your mind – no judgement – and come back to considering the appropriate elements of what creates the Divine Masculine or the Divine Feminine in your partner. Give soft focus back to the continuing creation of your transcendent perception of your partner, and gently let affirming and appropriate imagery re-enter your mind. Sometimes it will be very clear, sometimes it will be like a vague image or like sensing experiences through a fog, however as long as it’s relevant and Feels Good then its ok and can be gently embraced and added to the coalescing impression of the Divine Masculine or Feminine in your partner. If it does not make you feel good, treat it like the bag of chips and gently push it out of your mind without any further consideration.

Conclusion

This is a VERY brief description of merely One Aspect of Tantra, the “invocation of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine.” There is MUCH more to Tantra in general and again I HIGHLY recommend you research it (and / or read the books I recommend in The Tantric Advantage of BDSM). The invocation of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine is something that is EASILY added to almost any BDSM or D/s encounter, and absolutely will lift your experiences up to a beautiful, new level, above and beyond your already wonderful explorations. When you add Tantra into your scenes, your normal BDSM experiences with your beloved partner, e.g John Dom and Jane Sub, will transform the same activity of BDSM into something beyond John and beyond Jane…. and become an encounter between your own, unique, vibrant embodiments of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine. It may sound lofty here, but trust me you will feel the difference in the best possible way.

I will end this on an important note about Staying Relaxed about your Tantra. Sometimes the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine will manifest and coalesce in your mind quite easily, and sometimes it will feel difficult…. especially if there are a lot of distractions. You must never get down on yourself or angry at yourself if it does not feel like its working well on a given occasion. Be gentle with your own mind, and if your mind strays calmly bring it back to the encounter. Sometimes you will both want to open up the Tantric element, and other times you will just want to play and not make the extra effort required for Tantra… and all of that is perfectly fine.

No two Tantric experiences will ever be exactly alike, as the elements that flow into your mind of what makes up the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine for a given encounter can – and absolutely will – change wildly from encounter to encounter…. and thats A-OK as long as it is relevant. For example, an image or sense of a goddess / cock / vulva / rose (feminine) / sequoia (masculine) / superhero / etc etc etc, would be perfectly Relevant and Fine. On the flip side, as mentioned doing your grocery list would be off-topic and you would let it go / gently push it aside and out of your mind. Anything you can do to insure a private environment (if possible) will help a lot! Additionally anything that is normally Romantic in nature – music, incense, candle light (given safe levels of lighting for BDSM), etc will also be conducive to getting into the headspace of Tantra and co-creating your beautiful encounter with your own, personal Divine Masculine or Divine Feminine embodied right there with you in your Partner.

With time and practice the experience of seeing your partner in this light will become easier and easier. It is also not uncommon amongst those well-practiced to find that the wonderful afterglow of such an encounter continues into the next day…. and beyond. I cannot say that Tantra will work for everyone, but I can promise those who make the effort that the rewards are only positive. More love, more connection, more appreciation… and yes, all amidst your normal BDSM activities regardless of how intensely you choose to play. I have been studying Tantra my entire adult life (literally since I was 18) and I am speaking from countless wonderful experiences, many of which occurred right alongside the evolution of The Crow Academy Style of BDSM, right there with all the strictness of our High Etiquette, High Protocol Style of Romantic Domination and Submission.

Not one drop of O/our BDSM or D/s experiences has ever been lessened nor weakened by knowing and studying Tantric practices. In fact I can safely say that it has been purely an enhancement of all that W/we do. I wish you all that you may find and share this unique bliss with your own partner.

— Arcane

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