The Tantric Advantage Of BDSM…

A polite and intelligent submissive who is just learning about her own submissive nature wrote to me recently and asked me to recommend some sources for her to learn more about TANTRA. My reply to her covered enough Tantric territory that it seemed appropriate to share with a wider audience. If you have browsed through the various lessons here on Arcane Advice, you probably already know that a large percentage of my style of Domination is greatly influenced by Tantric principles. Quite often I will mention Tantra in passing, or refer to something as “Tantric,” and simply allow interested parties to research what I am referring to if my reference piqued their interest.

However, seeing as how I wrote back to this bright submissive soul with much greater detail about Tantra in particular, I decided to expand on the whole topic for a full ARCANE ADVICE lesson. Although many people have heard of Tantra, there are certainly a few misconceptions worth clearing up, and definitely some truly excellent resources worth knowing about if you find yourself Tantrically inclined.

Best of all, as you will read, those of us in the BDSM and Fetish Universe may in fact have a serious Tantric Advantage!  As I describe in this lesson, our very lives, tendencies and practices open doorways that absolutely breath fresh new life into the already magnificent world of Tantra.  By way of understanding the origins of Tantra, it is possible to literally Super-Charge almost any Fetish or BDSM experience you can imagine!

For myself alone I can tell you that the Experience of Tantric can be truly life-changing. 🙂

Enjoy.

What is Tantra, also known as “Tantra Yoga”?
The literal translation is (more or less) the “Spiritual Path of Sexual Energy.”

Many people in the world have the impression that Tantra is nothing more than really hot sex. Sadly, this concept seriously short-changes the opportunity to understand and explore the massive beauty of what Tantra has to offer. The next closest people come to getting a vague idea of what Tantra is all about is when they make love to someone they truly care for and the experience is far from merely physical. Sometimes these two people can share an experience so profound that it almost seems like, as cliche as it sounds, two souls fuse into one for a brief, illuminating flash of mutual ecstasy. Yet to think of that beautiful moment as the definition of Tantra is again far from the true peak that Tantra allows.

There are Two Branches of Tantra that a student of Tantric practices needs to understand: RED Tantra and WHITE Tantra.

• RED Tantra is what most people who have a modicum of understanding about Tantra think of when they speak of Tantra in general. RED tantra basically boils down to the Tantric practices that involve another person, i.e. a sexual partner.
• WHITE Tantra is far more obscure and harder to understand. WHITE Tantra is all about learning to control and utilize your sexual awareness completely by yourself, through a variety of meditations and yoga-like practices.

The biggest misconception about WHITE Tantra is that it has anything to do with masturbation. WHITE Tantra is NOT masturbation, and in fact masturbation done from a Tantric standpoint (i.e. turning it into an exercise for your own sexual energy awareness) is an off-shoot of RED Tantra. Glad we cleared that up, as thinking about WHITE Tantra as masturbation is like describing climbing to the peak of Mt Everest as “oh I went for a short hike.”

ALL Tantra, both RED and WHITE, begins with an understanding of the energy centers of the body, known in yoga as “chakras.” There are seven chakras that run up the spine, with the first chakra at the base of the spine, and the last chakra at the top of the head. The middle chakra is at the level of the heart, and is considered the weigh-station or balance-point of the chakras above and those below. What is perhaps most easy to grasp in discussing a “Spirtual Path of Sexual Energy” is that your sexual organs sit near the 1st chakra, and this is where all Tantra, both RED and WHITE, begins. One could say the whole point of Tantra is to teach the energy produced at the base of the spine to rise upwards towards the top of the head… and to seriously enjoy the results!! 😀

To understand further what Tantric Energy is all about, consider the one moment in time when most people alive experience a very teensy-weensy Tantric burst: The Moment of Orgasm. Yes, orgasm is nature’s way of throwing up a tiny signal-flare to see if you might notice that in the moment something special is happening, and then see if you have the inclination to follow that flare. Most people see the flare, smile at it, and come right back down into their normal perception where the signal-flare is just a rapidly obscured memory.

On the flip-side, the Tantric adept does not just release their orgasm and come right back to normalcy, but rather will channel that otherwise outward energy into an INWARD energy rising up the spine. Learning to do this is the nature of learning and practicing Tantra, and anyone with interest can learn to do so. It takes practice and takes some diligence, but the rewards are magnificent.

At the end of this lesson I have listed a variety of books to help you get started.

So WHY exactly do I advocate and speak about Tantra so much? Because – and here’s the REALLY FUN part – we citizens of BDSM and Fetishland have at our grasp a WHOPPING amount of Tantric Tools! Yep, BDSM and Fetish are sort of like the “shadow” of the mainstream Tantric World. Our own openness to the variety of sensual experiences we can share with a partner in no uncertain terms massively expands the Tantric repertoire available to us.

Nonetheless, to briefly explain further, you need to understand one of the most basic principles of Tantric Yoga – namely the Stimulation of All 5 Senses during sex. One would do so in what is called Tantric Ritual, which means a sexual encounter (RED Tantra) taken at a unique, delicate and incredibly fulfilling pace. The Stimulation of All 5 Senses is probably the number one thing a Tantric student learns when they start on the path of Tantra. To make this concept regarding the BDSM Advantage within Tantra absolutely clear, let me lay out for you side by side the way the 5 senses can be stimulated during Vanilla sex vs. a BDSM / Fetish sexual-sensual encounter:

1) Sight

VANILLA – perhaps the sense is stimulated by candlelight (quite common) or other exotic lighting. The sight of your partner’s body and the way you get turned on before you even touch them. Body adornment and the way it makes your partner look appetizing (sexy clothes, lingerie, jewelry).
FETISH – all of the above PLUS a deeper immersion into body adornment with an entire fashion repertoire that directly elicits arousal (fetish heels, latex, leather pants on the Master, etc). Additional visual cues from the furniture or toys in the dungeon to elicit an erotic response. And paradoxically, the deprival of this sense via a blindfold can be a major stimulation to the Inner Eye (3rd eye as its sometimes known). The sight of your partner bound, the sight of the Dom walking slowly towards you with that certain toy.

2) Sound

VANILLA – of course all the breathing and moaning of sex, as well as music being played or other sounds nearby. Making love in nature near a waterfall or with the sound of crickets all around. Words spoken by your partner.
FETISH – all of the above plus that inimitable “crack!” of the whip. The sound of other’s at a play party if the sub is blindfolded. The gasp of the submissive, the smack of the crop or the hand, etc etc. And in addition to the sound of your lover’s voice, almost any sub out there will testify to the sheer erotic power of their Dom’s voice speaking softly into their ear midway through a scene, tantalizing and teasing the submissive’s mind with suggestions about forthcoming sensations, or describing a role-play, or taunting the bound and blissfully helpless sub. The ecstatic moans of your partner coming through their gag, a very unique sound.

3) Taste

VANILLA – needless to say the taste of your partner’s mouth, of their body. Perhaps the taste of fruit such as strawberries brought into bed, or on a slightly kinky night the flavor of chocolate syrup or whipped cream. As a rule, Tantric texts suggest that a flavor induced should not be too intense so for actual Tantric ritual the sweetness of fruit is about as strong as it is supposed to get, and super-sweet things like chocolate are not recommended. Nonetheless, chocolate is still a stimulation of the sense of Taste.
FETISH – all of the above, plus the taste of the gag, whose presence can stimulate deep stirrings within the submissive, and which comes in MANY forms: leather, rubber, rope, cloth, etc.

4) Smell

VANILLA – all the scents of your partner’s natural odors plus whatever colognes or perfumes they might be wearing. Body oils applied specifically for Tantric Ritual. The smell of incense or scented candles in the air. The smell of your environment – the wood of a cabin or the smell of the ocean nearby.
FETISH – all of the above plus that unique smell of leather or of latex. Any scent the Dom intentionally presents to a blindfolded sub and the way the blindfold makes the scent (and other senses) twice as powerful.

Thus far its pretty plain to see how Fetish / BDSM takes these basic 5 Tantric Senses and, while honoring all the Vanilla options, adds Even More to the experience.

Now fasten your seatbelt as we enter the realm of the Biggest Advantage:

5) Touch

VANILLA – your partner’s body, and all the ecstasy of your physical union with them. On a slightly kinky night perhaps you pull out a feather, or make love on a large soft carpet that tickles the flesh.
FETISH – Where do I even begin?!?!?! All of the above, plus the hundreds or even thousands of different sensations the Dom / Top can apply to the flesh of the submissive / bottom. Heavy, hard, soft, luxurious, intense, quick, drawn out, sharp, stingy, thud, increasing, decreasing, pointed, slight, sudden, etc etc etc etc!!! 😀
Also the rush of every toy in the Dom’s hands as he or she utilizes their skill-made-manifest much the same way a painter feels when he picks up his favorite brushes. The way the Dom extends their touch outwards to such a level of sensitivity that the slightest change in the submissive yields a whirlpool of micro-adjustments in the pressure of the fur, the impact of the crop, the tease of the flogger, etc.

Its really No Wonder that we love BDSM as much as we all do when we see it in this Tantric light! 😀

Now lets take it Even One Step Further.
Lets call the 6th Sense “The Mind”…

6) Mind

VANILLA – maybe a few games and light role-plays, and of course the centeredness of the Tantric Ritual and the higher states of mind you can bring into Vanilla Tantric sex with your partner. The emotional arousal and the way you can float on it and share this with your partner. A blissful sense of spiritual opening that can be attained in Vanilla Tantra.
FETISH – the Entire World of D/s, of Power Exchange, of Mindfucks and Powerfully Deep Role-Plays. All the teasing of the flesh, and the way the different toys that continuously keep the submissive guessing. The incredibly powerful “trance” of the Dom deep in a scene, and the well-known ecstasy of the submissive’s concurrent “sub-space.”

Our particular morph of the human race, aka we Fetish and BDSM folk, are perhaps more naturally wired for TANTRA via a massive assortment of Fetish-Tantric avenues than our Vanilla counterparts can even imagine. 😀

Now here’s a REALLY COOL piece of news:
The above Tantric concept about Stimulating All 5 (or six) Senses during RED Tantric sex, and all the incredible states you can experience through Tantra with your partner, is the absolute TIP OF THE ICEBERG of what Tantra has to offer. Yep. Its kind of like eating at a 5-star restaurant where every flavor melts in your mouth, and then realizing that you are allowed to go back into the kitchen and taste EVERYTHING in there if you are so inclined.

HOWEVER, just because we Fetishists and BDSM Folk might be extra-wired for Tantra, it certainly does NOT mean that Tantra will just happen on its own. It is a Pathway, and like a muscle being strengthened, you must workout the Tantric “muscle” to get good at it. Without this practice you will still have wonderful BDSM experiences no doubt, but reaching for the Tantric level takes diligence, time, patience, study, and practice.

Personally, I started studying and practicing Tantra back with my very first lover. At a young age I simply found myself pulled strongly in that direction, and I was lucky enough to have a partner who was open to it all. I have to tell you, Tantra just plainly and simply ROCKS. Some of the concepts may seem alien at first, but stick with it and it will all become VERY clear. For example, Tantra may instruct you to spend a while practicing coming to the very edge of orgasm but “holding back” from the actual orgasm itself. For men Tantra teaches the graphic virtue of such intense self-control so that we learn how to have a “Tantric Orgasm” without ejaculation, and even to have multiple male orgasms! I have to tell you that once you get used to Tantric Orgasms, regular ejaculatory orgasms seem like cheap fast food compared to the fine dining of Tantra, quite genuinely. Our mere cellular biology dictates that a man should orgasm and ejaculate every time to insure more of the species, yet Tantra on the other hand teaches and Clearly Shows that when we master our own sexual impulses there are levels of bliss waiting to be attained Far Beyond Mere Biology that most people can barely imagine! For women, the Tantric “holdback” can show you many more than just the usual two kinds of clitoral and vaginal orgasm, and instead you will learn to discern a Wide Number of different kinds of orgasm. I have literally watched Tantrically trained women pass-out in ecstasy and float away on an inner cloud without ever even having orgasmed at all! One woman even opened her eyes ten minutes later and told me she thought she had astral traveled! Another example of the delicious varieties of ecstasy waiting to be discovered in Tantra is the mysterious “Emotional Orgasm” – it is not just a myth! Using Tantra, a mildly steeped Tantric individual can use the techniques and the accompanying sensitivity to their own body to experience an Emotional Orgasm as clearly as you feel yourself breathing right now – no joke! 🙂

As promised, here are some of my personal favorite book recommendations on the subject of Tantra (and Chinese Sexology – see below). Please note that ALL of the books below have been written from an ENTIRELY Vanilla perspective, an none of them overtly represent to understand or include BDSM in their explanation of Tantric Principles. For that, you’ll have to wait for my second book (*wink*). Nonetheless, I started with these books and they have only ever been beautiful additions to my understanding of Tantra:

1) The Tao of Love and Sex
by Jolan Chang
— this was the very first Tantra book I ever read.

NOTE: “Chinese Sexology” is almost 100% identical to RED Tantra in terms of the actual physical processes, although the meditations themselves will vary from East Indian Tantra. The word “Tantra” is from Tantra Yoga (the spiritual path of sexual energy), an East Indian concept. The ancient Chinese had their own concurrent studies going on, usually commissioned by ancient emperors. Originally, Tantra Yoga was more accessible to the masses in India, while Chinese Sexology was more the province of the Chinese aristocracy. In modern times, learning one seems to mesh quite seamlessly with learning the other, and the cumulative set of skills build beautifully on each other. 🙂

2) The Tao of the Loving Couple (The Sequel to The Tao of Love and Sex)
by Jolan Chang
— even more great material for both the Tantric couple and especially for women.

3) The Multi-Orgasmic Man
by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams
— mainly written for men, it is important for Tantric women to read this book on basic Tantric principles (written in a quite down-to-earth manner) because one of the biggest hurdles is for the female partner to understand the how and why of the man’s non-ejaculatory “holdback,” a concept which seems obscure for many women, and even offensive to some (i.e. if he does not ejaculate inside me I must not be good enough / he does not love me / etc, and similar poppycock). 🙂
There are sections specifically for women in this book too. 🙂

4) The Tao of Sexology
by Stephen Chang
— a prolific author who managed to link Chinese Sexology into a wide variety of areas in life. This is just one of his books, and an excellent, detailed immersion into serious principles of Chinese Sexology.

5) Masturbation, Tantra, and Self-Love
by Margo Woods
— an amazing and very obscure book about one woman’s education in Tantra by a very unorthodox Western teacher. Kind of an “intermediate” book. I would read this AFTER you feel you have an understanding of the basic principles of Tantra via the books above. 🙂

6) Kundalini Tantra
by Swami Satyananda Saraswati
— THEEEEE best book on WHITE Tantra ever written as far as I have ever seen. 🙂
VERY ADVANCED topics. Used to be hard to find but now they have reprinted it and it is accesible once again. This author uses LOADS of yoga-jargon (“shushumna,” “nadis,” “chakras,” “shakti,” etc etc).
All the other books I have suggested above deal with RED Tantra.
Again, WHITE Tantra is about learning to channel and control the sexual energy of your own body through intense meditation and exercises you do by yourself. There are VERY few good books on White Tantra because everyone wants to know how to have Tantric Sex. The trick however is that both RED and WHITE Tantra absolutely complement each other — learn one and you will get better at the other automatically. The deeper you get into Tantra the more you will crave advanced levels of understanding and self-knowledge….and knowing WHITE Tantra is worth its weight in gold. 🙂
The first time I read this book about half of it was greek to me, yet I still gained massive amounts of useful material. When I re-read it years later my own understanding had grown so much that I gained even more insights from the parts I did not previously understand.
A truly amazing, ADVANCED and one-of-a-kind book on WHITE Tantra that I cannot recommend enough AFTER you have studied some of the previous books.  🙂

I hope that this Tantric Tangent inspires many of you to begin your own Tantric journey. It is one I started many moons ago, and I have never, ever regretted a single day or even a single moment of my experiences and realizations. It has been and continues to be a profound addition and even flavor of my life. We here in the BDSM Community already have so many wild, weird, whacky and wonderful ways to play, and the addition of Tantra into your life will only ever add to that gourmet reality we already enjoy.

If you find that the subject of Tantra intrigues you, by all means continue onwards to our “Intermediate” lesson on Tantra here on Arcane Advice….
Sacred Masculine & Sacred Feminine – Embracing Tantra in BDSM

Fetish Dreams to you all,
— Arcane