I was participating in a group discussion recently and someone asked an age-old question about Doms and a person’s Dominant Nature. The question is always the same, effectively the Nature vs Nurture question regarding Domination. Can a Dom be “Made” or is it something intrinsic to an individual, a part Read More »
I received an intriguing letter from a submissive whose Dominant felt they had “failed” when the sub asked the Dom if they could have Vanilla sex. Her intention was simple: Aside from all the wonderful BDSM sex and Bondage sex and D/s that occurred within these sexual experiences, she simply Read More »
PART 2: A further exploration of Misperceptions that can lead to the Submissive violating the Dominant’s Hard Limits. Part 1 can be found here: The Hard Limits Of The Dominant – Part 1 As we discuss Hard Limits and what would lead to any version of the “My Way or The Highway” line Read More »
Recently, I responded to a letter someone wrote trying to delineate when and / or if it is ever proper for a Dominant or Master to take on a “My Way or the Highway” attitude. Shouldn’t every situation be endlessly negotiable? The answer is a Hard NO, but it is important Read More »
Regarding the magnificent essay you are about to read from submissive “Penelope” below, I must say it’s a beautiful experience to watch when a submissive literally swoons when she is in Bondage. As Bondage is certainly one of my all-time favorite fetishes, seeing as how I have been tying the Read More »
A bright new submissive wrote me asking how could she tell if she was really submissive? The question seemed slightly moot at first, as the reason we were speaking was because I was a Dom and she was a submissive seeking knowledge. Nonetheless the question and our ensuing discussion quickly Read More »
I recently replied to a question about when and how it’s ok to re-write one’s own Rules as a Dom/me. As I sincerely believe that we as Dom/mes are in fact ARTISTS, my answer is whole-heartedly in support of treating one’s own Rules as an ever-growing expression of oneself, one’s needs, Read More »
I recently received a letter asking me my thoughts on what is needed to Get Physically Fit given that the individual clearly was ready to change their body. I summarized a few basic principles on fitness that have always worked for me, again and again, over the years of my Read More »
I recently responded to a question regarding the issue of Body Image in a slave. It was asked how do Dominants deal with the issue of a slave with an inaccurate Body Image, and what steps we as Doms would take to help her refine her Body Image into a Read More »
This 2-Part lesson came as a result of an online discussion on the very complicated topic of Self-Esteem, a factor which is critical within the ongoing training of a slave. The question is how does one approach the idea of cultivating healthy self-esteem in oneself (for subs) or in your Read More »
When a Dominant suddenly loses all interest in being Dominant, even when He is still completely committed to His partner, one of the possibilities is the phenomenon known as “Top Drop.” A well meaning submissive asked the question, “Do most Masters suffer TopDrop? If so, what are the signs and Read More »
A sincere submissive who had explored High Protocol D/s for a few years and loved it but who was still relatively new to this part of herself wrote to me with an intriguing question. She had been in a 24/7 with a Master of notable quality but with whom she Read More »
PART THREE of STEPPING BACK and DIVING DEEP (in 3 Parts). A new and very well-meaning submissive wrote to me to describe a series of bad experiences she had with a particular so-called Dom who showed tremendous disrespect when it came to the submissive’s limits as well as being HONEST Read More »
PART TWO of STEPPING BACK and DIVING DEEP (in 3 Parts). A new and very well-meaning submissive wrote to me to describe a series of bad experiences she had with a particular so-called Dom who showed tremendous disrespect when it came to the submissive’s limits as well as being HONEST Read More »
PART ONE of STEPPING BACK and DIVING DEEP (in 3 Parts). A new and very well-meaning submissive wrote to me to describe a series of bad experiences she had with a particular so-called Dom who showed tremendous disrespect when it came to the submissive’s limits as well as being HONEST Read More »
A polite and intelligent submissive who is just learning about her own submissive nature wrote to me recently and asked me to recommend some sources for her to learn more about TANTRA. My reply to her covered enough Tantric territory that it seemed appropriate to share with a wider audience. Read More »
A fetish filmmaker responded to the previous ARCANE ADVICE lesson “Regaining Submissive Bliss (Part 1)” with a series of strong points that I felt needed a great deal of discussion, as several of these point ran parallel to Vanilla misperceptions of the past which have led to a variety of Read More »
An excellent Dom buddy of mine wrote me to ask what I thought were the 10 Essential Qualities of a Fine Dom. In my estimation, these are Ten Essential Traits that any existing or prospective Dom needs to appreciate. These do not necessarily have to be fully developed qualities within Read More »
A woman wrote to me with a unique problem which seemed to revolve around a confusion between the appropriate behaviors of a BDSM party vs a Swinger party. From the description of her problem, the biggest issue appeared to be that she wanted to bring a high level of polyamory, Read More »
There seems to be some deliberation on the virtue of training an Experienced submissive versus a Complete Newbie submissive. In my opinion there is virtue in both scenarios and in this lesson I explain why. Following the main lesson, I have posted an excerpt from my book, “Igniting The Fire: Read More »