Recently, I responded to a letter someone wrote trying to delineate when and / or if it is ever proper for a Dominant or Master to take on a “My Way or the Highway” attitude. Shouldn’t every situation be endlessly negotiable? The answer is a Hard NO, but it is important Read More »
I recently read a simple question put forth by a submissive who was ordered to play by an intoxicated Dom. This got me thinking about how this issue comes up every-so-often regarding How Much and When is it ok to mix intoxication with BDSM play? Many people who seriously appreciate Read More »
This is a question that I get every so often regarding the legality of a Master-slave, or D/s, Contract. For those of you who have never heard of such, the Master-slave Contract (aka Slave Contract, aka D/s Contract, etc) is an actual document created when a Dom and a sub Read More »
This ARCANE ADVICE may seem slightly off-topic, however it’s time someone addressed a Single MASSIVE MISCONCEPTION regarding this question which gets asked in almost every Alternative Sexuality genre, including the BDSM / Fetish Scene. The answer will hopefully make you THINK, and it is interesting to note that we here Read More »
A new submissive inquired recently as to how well she should be going along with her Master’s plans and designs when they seemed at times to be at odds with her normal way of doing things. It appeared to me that she had not yet clarified with her Master where Read More »
PART THREE of STEPPING BACK and DIVING DEEP (in 3 Parts). A new and very well-meaning submissive wrote to me to describe a series of bad experiences she had with a particular so-called Dom who showed tremendous disrespect when it came to the submissive’s limits as well as being HONEST Read More »
PART TWO of STEPPING BACK and DIVING DEEP (in 3 Parts). A new and very well-meaning submissive wrote to me to describe a series of bad experiences she had with a particular so-called Dom who showed tremendous disrespect when it came to the submissive’s limits as well as being HONEST Read More »
PART ONE of STEPPING BACK and DIVING DEEP (in 3 Parts). A new and very well-meaning submissive wrote to me to describe a series of bad experiences she had with a particular so-called Dom who showed tremendous disrespect when it came to the submissive’s limits as well as being HONEST Read More »
An excellent Dom buddy of mine wrote me to ask what I thought were the 10 Essential Qualities of a Fine Dom. In my estimation, these are Ten Essential Traits that any existing or prospective Dom needs to appreciate. These do not necessarily have to be fully developed qualities within Read More »
A woman wrote to me with a unique problem which seemed to revolve around a confusion between the appropriate behaviors of a BDSM party vs a Swinger party. From the description of her problem, the biggest issue appeared to be that she wanted to bring a high level of polyamory, Read More »
There seems to be some deliberation on the virtue of training an Experienced submissive versus a Complete Newbie submissive. In my opinion there is virtue in both scenarios and in this lesson I explain why. Following the main lesson, I have posted an excerpt from my book, “Igniting The Fire: Read More »
A submissive new to the idea of Living The BDSM D/s Lifestyle wrote to me asking how one “integrates” the various profound elements of Living The Dominant-Submissive Lifestyle alongside the ordinary demands of society, work and otherwise daily life. I describe what it is like by drawing parallels to living Read More »
A passionate submissive wrote me both hopeful and hesitant about pursuing the extreme surrender she hoped to experience within formal D/s and Submission. Her concerns stemmed from observations regarding styles of D/s that one might consider more extreme, and not understanding that different Dominants have different Stylistic Choices. She was Read More »
Let me start by saying that I pushed this question to the head of the list because I have been suddenly inundated in the last few weeks by various submissives asking this exact same question. It’s as though astrologically speaking some planetary alignment has given rise to this question in Read More »
A submissive woman wrote me describing how she met a somewhat Dominant man who she was hoping to turn into a more strongly Dominant man. She had tried various attempts to elicit his style to measure up to and match what she feels she needs, yet was starting to come Read More »
A friend of mine, one of the most sincere female slaves I know, asked me about my take on pain, humiliation and edge play. She wanted to know more about these areas, and also know if a submissive can be “broken into” these levels of play. Enjoy. My take on Read More »
A devoted submissive wrote to me asking about a kind of burn-out that any submissive can experience when they feel like they just cannot do enough for their Dominant. My answer was far less straight-forward than you might expect since burn-out like this can come from any number of areas Read More »
An earnest female submissive wrote me asking if I could talk about how and why emotions, feelings and love are so much more intensified within a D/s Relationship, and why the intensity can so deeply affect one’s daily vanilla life, including even a simple argument. She asked if there was Read More »
A relatively new male Dom wrote me asking advice on how to keep an existing long-distance relationship going while adding his and his girlfriend’s newfound love of D/s into the picture. He explained how the roles of Dominant and submissive just sort of grew out of a natural, almost vanilla Read More »